Perhaps your loved one left a room of items behind. Especially when this is a child, often the parents close the room and it becomes like a shrine. It can be difficult to let go of anything due to the emotional attachment to the items. While this is a very sensitive area, we think it is important to move on at the right time and embrace life as your loved one would have wished.
If the person that passed has not left a list of how they would like their items distributed and you are the main beneficiary, we would recommend that you go through the following process:
- Before you move or decide anything, everyone should take one item that has the strongest, happiest memory of the person.
- Place all items in another area with space so you will have room to sort items, such as the outside lawn. Take everything the person had and put it in this area so you can sort it. Remember people are not things. The items are not the person.
- Decide how you want to feel in the space/room (which is now empty). What mood or feeling do you want in that room? Decide what you would like to do with the room. You might like to integrate the memory of the person that passed into the design of the new room. Make it a new space that can represent the future, while honoring the past. Some ideas that others have done is make the room into an office with storage, den or room to relax in.
- Make an area on the lawn so you can sort the items into three categories:
- Charity/Things that will leave the house. (Giving these items to charity will help someone that is less fortunate.)
- Keep (items you are not ready to get rid of)
- Memory Chest (Items that have the strongest, happiest memories associated with the person that passed. These should put a smile on your face.)
- We suggest that items that have negative and sad memories should be taken out of the house. You want to honor the good things and take out the emotional clutter.
- Some suggestions for the new design of the room.
- Use one wall to post pictures and other memories of the person
- Have other photos of you and family members that still live in the home
- Have 2 armoires, one to store the person's items that you kept and the other armoires for items for the present day usage for you and family members that still live in the home.
- Make it a health place which is for the present and future, but honors the past.
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