A Japanese funeral includes a wake, the cremation of the deceased, a burial in a family grave, and a periodic memorial service. 99% of all deceased Japanese are cremated. Most of these are then buried in a family grave, but scattering of the ashes has become more popular in recent years, including a burial at sea and even on rare occasions a burial in space. The average cost for a Japanese funeral is one of most expensive in the world. One main reason for the high cost is the scarcity of funeral plots (it is almost impossible to buy a grave in Tokyo).
Japanese religions believe that an individual who dies loses individual identity, but joins with the ancestral kami of the family. This ancestral kami is responsible for the birth of new children, and the deceased is sometimes reborn in another body, which is part of the ongoing cycle of life. In Japan, the goal is to live a full and spiritual life with a connection to one's kami, and in death, to become an ancestor and maybe even eventually a kami. Families, in the meantime, are encouraged to pray the Buddhist scriptures for the deceased and to learn from the death of their lovved one that they too will someday undergo the passage from this life to the next.
While Japan has a mixture of Shinto and Buddhist beliefs, funerals are almost always Buddhist ceremonies, and 90% of the funerals are Buddhist style. After death, the deceased's lips are moistened with water, in a ceremony called “Water of the last moment Matsugo-no-mizu. The household shrine is closed and covered with a white paper, to keep out the impure spirits of the dead. This is called Kamidana-fuji. A small table decorated with flowers, incense, and a candle is placed next to the deceased's bed. A knife may be put on the chest of the deceased to drive away evil spirits.
The relatives and the authorities are informed and a death certificate is issued. Organization of the funeral is usually the responsibility of the eldest son. A temple is contacted to schedule a funeral. Superstition believes certain days better for a funeral than others. For example, some days are known as tomobiki, literally “Friend pulling, which is great for weddings, but to be avoided for funerals, as nobody wants to follow a dead person into the grave. The body is washed and the orifices are blocked with cotton or gauze. The last clothes are usually a suit for males and a kimono for females. A kimono for men is also sometimes used, but is less common. Make-up may also be applied to improve the appearance of the body. The body is put on dry ice in a casket, and a white kimono, sandals, 6 coins for the crossing of the River of three hells, and burnable items the deceased was fond of (for example, cigarettes and candy) are placed in the casket. The casket is then put on an altar for the wake. The body is placed with the head towards the north or, as a second choice, towards the west.
While in former times white clothes were worn for funerals, nowadays all guests for the funeral wear black. Men wear a black suit with a white shirt and a black tie, and women wear either a black dress or a black kimono. The black is of a special pitch-black shade. A Buddhist prayer bead called Juzu may be carried by the guests. A guest will bring condolence money in a special black and silver decorated envelope. Depending on the relation to the deceased and the wealth of the guest, this may be of a value equivalent to between USD 30 and USD 300. The guests are seated, with the next of kin closest to the front. The Buddhist priest will read a sutra. The family members will each in turn offer incense three times to the incense urn in front of the deceased. The wake ends once the priest has completed the sutra. Each departing guest is given a gift, which has a value of about half or one quarter of the condolence money received from this guest. The closest relatives may stay with the deceased overnight in the same room.
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